Hipnotiq is my chronic

So I didn't have a sober Friday night. My boss so generously let me get off early so I could go out! Nothing like a couple of Vodka-RedBulls at 1:00 in the morning. We went to the liquor store too and i think i bought the biggest bottle of Hipnotiq that is available.

I have come up with this new drink that I call the sleeper. It's Vault soda with Hipnotiq. It tastes amazing but it makes me sleepy. [go figure-mixing downers with uppers]

Saturday I had a pretty fun day but didnt drink until I got home from watching The Prestige - which is a really really good movie. I liked it quite a bit.

I can't believe the weekends already over. Good thing I have Wednesday off. I've got a full day planned already and it definetely includes Trivia night at the Flea. \m/ [rockfist].

Conversation with a 2 year old this morning:

2 year old: "You're heavy."

Me: "Thanks."

...an hour later...same 2 year old.

2 year old: "You're too big."

Me: "You're too little."

--i know. i'm no good at comebacks...--

The apartment looks like hell. I can't wait to leave my nice, clean parental's house to go sit in my own filth. Seriously. No offense Lisa [roommate].

working. when i should be out drinking.

Somehow I always am amazed at what comes out of my mouth. Like the phrase, "Hey I'll work late Friday night." My friend(s), this should NEVER be said on a drinking night!

The only really good thing is I can listen to music while I work because no one else is here! All alone, in a big empty room of cubicles! Its a wonder that I don't rearrange the cubicle walls or completely close someone's cubicle off.

Right now, on the work mixtape is the Scissor Sisters. Apparently, you can't see tits on the radio. Who would have thought?!?!

Lesson I learned this week: if you get your hair done "professionally" at your own house, do not...i repeat DO NOT give your hairdresser vodka before she starts cutting. This will only end in the words "holy shit" and uneven hair. Seriously, nothing good ever comes of Vodka besides better sleep and sometimes sex.

Wednesday was trivia night at the Westport Flea Market. I'm pretty sure that is the most fun I have had with a MagnaDoodle since I was like...21. I think our team came in 3rd, but of course only 1st and 2nd got money. Sucks for me. I did see Len Dawson (ex-Chief's player - he was on the team when they won the superbowl. now he is the sports caster on channel 12) there. And I also drank more beer than I ever thought i could. It pretty much went down like Vodka [smooth and kicked my ass in the morning]...

Therapy is going well. And the Occular Herpes - iHerps is how I refer to them - are here again, gone again (i'm told most herpes are such). iHerps makes them sound a little classy, like Apple sells them or something.

One thing I cannot wait for: Guitar Hero 2
One thing I can wait for: paying rent
One thing I liked about today: Kahlua cheesecake from the cheesecake factory
One thing I disliked about today: having to work
One thing I look forward to tomorrow for: to see some of my greatest friends: including Andrea, Kenbra and Steve, & Jesse and Jenn.

Kenbra, Steve, and I are going to go see The Prestige with the lovely lusciously delish Christian Bale. I swear to god, i would do just about anything to have his babies.

Andrea and I are going to hang while her hubby is at work.

And I'm helping Jesse move his stuff into Jenn's tomorrow.

What a fantastic day it will be! I am excited just thinking about it!

...now if only i had a drink...

Here's to a night of sobriety. [holds the water bottle up]

CHEERS!

rainy day thoughts

I'm trying to convince myself to do something...but on a rainy day with Frou Frou playing in the backround, and the dishwasher whirring...i see myself doing nothing but sitting on the internet talking to a few people.

and thinking.

and wishing.

and hoping.

but most of all daydreaming.

5 years down the road i will be 27. where will i be? who will i be? will i still have the same friends? will anyone close to me die? will i die?

i dont want to live a life that 5 years from now i say, man i havent done anything with my life.

i want to be someone.

i dont want to be me. i'm sure everyone feels like that sometimes. if not maybe i need to go to therapy. oh wait! i am already in therapy! which by the way, from the first session alone seemed like the most accomplishing hour of the day.

a question to ponder: where does god fit into chaos?

when your whole life is a big chaotic mess, how do you put things in its proper place? how does a friendship get effected by it? how does your family? how do you? how do you respond? how do you react to this enormous blindspot in your eye when its all you can see and you cant really see through it? when everything is clouded by this thing...

Any thoughts?

life: in bitesized morsels

I start therapy on Friday. I never thought I would be a person who needed therapy. Now I am. It's weird, sometimes, how life turns out.

"I'm tired.
Cynical and broken, but wiser.
Heavy with a sense of resentment,
but i used to be so much different,
I used to have so much faith when I started.
You knew that I always meant it.
I knew I could make a difference,
I struggled to be heard and then finally, one day people started listening.
and I knew it but as soon as it began it was ruined.
A slow descent from unique to routine, over and over."

I'm also looking at colleges right now to start working towards my Bachelors in Business Management. I want to start in January.